Jaws
by SquidbaggerOfWoomyAndNgyesness
Summary: A parody of Clams from SpongeBob, featuring the 2nd Generation Louds and their friends.


It was a typical day at Loud Park. The Loud kids and some of their friends were all over at Lana and Skippy's house, watching a Spanish Reality TV show, in which the cast were speaking Spanish.

"You know, I can't understand a word these guys are saying." Lynn III said bluntly.

"None of us can." Loki said.

"This show needs subtitles." Londey said.

Just then, Skippy entered the house, all excited about something. He threw confetti in the air. His children and the others just stared at him. He went over to Lana and kissed her, before taking out some paper and wiped it on his butt.

"Uh, what's wrong with Dad?" Leif asked.

Skippy faced his wife, children, nieces and nephews, and other children.

"Nothing, squirt. Do you know what this is?" Skippy asked.

"A very dirty piece of paper?" Leia asked.

The posh girl snickered lightly. Skippy shook his head.

"No. This is my one thousandth paycheck! When I got my job at the mechanics shop, I set a goal to earn one thousand paychecks. And I finally got my thousandth one today!" Skippy replied.

"Wow. Congratulations, Dad." Lina said.

"I'm so proud of you, Skip." Lana said happily.

"Well, I couldn't have done it without you guys. If it wasn't for your encouragement, I wouldn't have made it this far. I mean, a family like us comes around like once in a lifetime. And for helping me earn my thousandth paycheck, I'm rewarding you guys with a trip!" Skippy said.

"YAY!" Liena cheered.

"This is literally exciting! Where are we going, Uncle Skippy? Fancy Springs?" Loki asked.

"No." Skippy replied.

"Pamper Island?" Lizy asked.

"Try again." Skippy replied.

"Ooh! I bet it's the Royal Woods Old Culture Village." Levi predicted.

"Better than that." Skippy said.

* * *

Later, the Louds and co. were out on a small fishing boat, wearing fisherman coats and holding fishing poles. Some of them look disappointed.

"Fishing? This is the thanks we get for supporting you? Fishing for stinky fish in a stinky old boat on a stinky lagoon?" Loki asked, disappointed.

"Yeah, you call this fun?" Londey asked, disappointed as well.

"Aw, come on, guys, don't be like that. Family and friends at sea, with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a few fish, and then throw them back. Don't you think that's fun?" Skippy asked.

"No." Lupe replied simply.

Some of the family went to sit down on the chairs.

"And to think, I could be wearing a powdered wig right now." Lupe muttered.

"How could this be better than Fresh Springs? Or Pamper Island?" Lizy asked in disappointment.

The Sharp girl had been wanting to go to either location to spend some time relaxing with Lemy. Her boyfrend just patted her shoulder. Just then, Lenore came up to Lupa.

"Hey, big cous, want me to cast here so you can watch me?" Lenore asked.

"How about you cast over there so I can ignore you?" Lupa asked dryly, pointing somewhere else.

"Okay." Lenore replied.

The blonde went to the front of the boat to start her fishing with Linka and Lacy. She cast her line, but it swung back and the hook got caught on Lupa's chair. The white haired girl was looking through her own book of spells that she was writing, so she didn't notice the hook. The witch girl suddenly found herself thrown onto the ground as the hook took her chair out from under her.

"Lenore! Watch where you're swinging that thing!" Lupa scolded.

Lenore didn't hear her. She cast the line again, and like before, it swung back too far. The line hooked onto Lupa's hoodie and tore it off, revealing her black and yellow t-shirt underneath.

"Lenore! Be careful with..." Lupa started to shout.

The hook caught onto her white hair. A chunk of her hair was torn off, causing Lupa to scream out in pain. She went over to her uncle, who was sailing the boat.

"Okay, I want to go home." Lupa said, wincing in pain.

Skippy looked over and noticed the empty patch of hair his niece was missing.

"What happened to you?" Skippy asked.

"Lenore happened." Lupa replied irritably.

Skippy smiled.

"Lupa, you've gotta to lighten up. Sure, the kid's a bit over eager, but you've gotta learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow, and don't bring anything on a boat that you aren't prepared to lose." Skippy said.

As the mechanic said this, Lenore was accidentally throwing things into the water with her fishing hook. She eventually got got her hook caught on Skippy's paycheck, which was taped to the back of his shirt. He noticed that.

"My paycheck!" Skippy exclaimed.

Lenore ripped it off, revealing his back.

"Lenore, wait!" Skippy shouted.

Lenore had already tossed it into the water.

"Lenore, you've hooked my paycheck! Reel it in!" Skippy ordered.

Suddenly, Skippy heard music suspenseful playing. He suddenly got a look of fear on his face and rushed up to his youngest child.

"Oh no. Lenore, hurry up and reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor. Every sailor knows it means death! Reel it in before it's too late!" Skippy ordered frantically.

Lenore started to do as she was told.

"Quicker, Lenore! The music's getting faster!" Skippy ordered.

Skippy opened a set of double doors at the middle of the boat, revealig a real-life orchestra performing music.

"There you are, ya stinkin' bilge rats! Stop playing that music! Stop it! Please, I'm begging you!" Skippy shouted.

It seemed like they couldn't hear him, or they were ignoring him. The rest of the group saw the bad situation as Lenore reeled in the paycheck.

"Come on, honey, you can make it! Swim to me, baby! Come on! Come on! Hurry, Lenore!" Skippy yelled.

"Here she comes." Lenore muttered.

She then finally got it out of the water.

"She made it!" Lenore cried.

Skippy cheered in victory and took back his paycheck.

"For a second or two, I thought she was a goner." Skippy said in relief.

Just then, a shark jumped over the boat and caught the paycheck in it's mouth, before going back into the ocean and swimming away. Skippy formed tears and broke down crying. The rest of the group walked over to him.

"So, some trip, huh, Uncle Skippy?" Leia asked.

"Oh, you guys, you're not gonna believe this! A giant shark ate my thousandth paycheck and I'll never get it back!" Skippy cried tearfully.

He continued to bawl.

"Poor Mr. Erhart. I've never seen him so upset." Loni said.

Skippy cried a stream of tears.

"Oh, please. He's such a drama queen." Leia said irritably.

Skippy continued crying.

"Uncle Skippy, it's just a paycheck." Lars said.

Skippy continued crying.

"Come on, man, suck it up!" Lynn III said.

He continued crying.

"Uncle..." Liby started to say.

Skippy continued crying.

"Uncle, you're flooding the boat." Lupe said.

Skippy continued cying.

"Okay, honey, okay! We'll help you get your paycheck back." Lana said.

Skippy sucked his thumb, but then stopped.

"You will? Great!" Skippy said happily.

He pulled a drain and all his tears went down.

"Wait right here." Skippy ordered.

He ran off and then came back wearing fishing gear. He also had a fishing pole, a net, and a harpoon gun.

"Here's where fishing gets serious." Skippy said with a scowl.

* * *

Soon, the group was ready to hunt for the shark. Skippy was at the top of the boat.

"Okay, you guys man the fishing poles and I'll keep a lookout for Ol' Sharkbite." Skippy instructed.

"Aye aye, captain!" Leif called out.

"And remember, we don't leave until we catch that shark and rescue my paycheck." Skippy said.

He began to look out for the shark.

* * *

Three days later, Skippy was still on the lookout, but he now had a beard and was looking quite dirty. The rest of the group was tired. Ronaldo also had a little beard, but he suddenly ripped it off.

"Ow! That's it! We've been out here for three days and haven't gotten anything to eat! This is hopeless!" Ronaldo said angrily.

"Yeah. We're literally gonna die out here just because a shark took Uncle Skippy's stupid paycheck." Loki complained.

Lupa smiled slyly as she used a spell to create an exact replica of Skippy's paycheck.

"Well, if he wants it back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean?" Lupa asked.

"Oh, good thinkin', Lupa." Lexx replied with a smirk.

* * *

Skippy was still on the top of the boat on lookout duty.

"Oh, Dad! Look what we've got!" Lina called out.

Skippy gasped and came down.

"Could it be? My thousandth paycheck?" Skippy asked.

He got excited and started doing a happy dance. The others joined in, thinking they fooled him, but Skippy stopped when he realized something.

"Wait a minute. This isn't my thousandth paycheck." Skippy said dryly.

The others looked at each other.

"This is an ordinary paycheck that's been crumbled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with crimson red number two semi gloss lipstick." Skippy said angrily.

Liena was holding red lipstick that she used on her lips.

"Actually, it's crimson red number..." Liena started to say.

Lacy bashed her older cousin on the back of her head with the blunt end of Final Judgement.

"I trusted you and you gave me this! I can't believe my own family would betray me like this!" Skippy said unhappily.

He started sobbing again.

"No, no. We won't be swayed by your tears anymore." Leia said.

Skippy stopped.

"I see. Well, I guess I have no choice... but to offer a reward." Skippy said with a frown.

What?" Charon asked in confusion.

"Yay! Is it a trip to the mall?" Liena asked.

"Nope. It's this sandwich." Skippy replied dryly.

He took out a sandwich and nailed it to a pole.

"A sandwich? You expect me to bend over backwards for a sandwich?" Luke asked skeptically.

"Not just a sandwich." Skippy replied.

He took out a plate of sandwiches and threw them in the lagoon.

"These sandwiches too." Skippy added.

Lemy scoffed.

"Whatever. We've got plenty more to..." Lemy started to say.

The rocker boy froze. Skippy smiled threateningly as he held the entire fridge and dropped it into the lagoon.

"Now I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until we get my one thousandth paycheck back!" Skippy said with a glare.

"Guys, can I have a word with you?" Gloom asked lowly.

The goth girl and the other went to the back.

"Okay, it's clear that Mr. Skippy has gone COMPLETELY INSANE!" Gloom said.

"No kidding." Lynn III said.

"You could say he's gone overboard. But seriously, just look at him." Lane said.

Skippy was seen crying next to a tombstone that read "R.I.P My hundredth paycheck".

'But guys, he's lost something near and dear to him. Haven't you ever..." Lara started to ask.

"Look again." Lani replied.

Skippy ripped his shirt off and started eating it.

"You're right." Lara said, worried.

"How do we get outta here?" Leif asked.

"Maybe if we're real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat." Lamis suggested.

The others agreed. They began to sneak over, but they ran screaming at the top of their lungs instead. They all jumped into the lifeboat, but Skippy had caught them and managed to tie them all up.

"So you thought you'd skip out on me? Even after you promised to help me? I know what you're thinking. It's just a dumb old paycheck. Let's leave the old man, he won't notice." Skippy said angrily.

The man sobbed. The others looked at each other with worried looks.

"Well, it's not gonna go down like that. There's only one use for a backstabbing crew like you!" Skippy said angrily.

* * *

"Live bait!" Skippy excaimed.

The mechanic had tied the others to a big piece of plank. They were dangling in the air. Lacy struggled to move or summon Final Judgement, but couldn't for some reason.

"You're crazy! if that shark didn't come before, what makes you think he'll come now?" Lacy asked.

Skippy was now dressed in an orchestra suit.

"Oh, he'll come." Skippy replied.

The double doors opened to reveal the orchestra from earlier playing their music. Skippy was conducting them and used them to attract the shark. The others screamed in terror.

"Honey, I can't believe you're doing this! You have completely out of your mind!" Lana shouted.

Skippy laughed crazily. The shark rose above water and started swimming towards the tied-up victims.

"Get us outta here!" Bebe yelled.

"Come on, Sharkbite! Fresh meat over here!" Skippy called out.

The victims swung and shook, trying to escape their doom.

"Keep thrashing! He likes it!" Skippy shouted.

The shark came closer.

"Come on, boy! Closer! Almost there!" Skippy shouted.

The shark opened his mouth and the paycheck was seen on his tongue.

"That's it!" Skippy cried.

Skippy closed the doors. The shark froze in midair just as he was about to devour the victims. Skippy jumped in the shark's mouth and took back the paycheck.

"Aha! Woohoo! I finally got it! I got my one thousandnth paycheck!" Skippy cheered.

The orchestra doors suddenly opened again. The shark closed it's mouth and went back underwater. The orchestra band finished performing and the doors closes. There was a moment of silence.

" Dad is,,. gone. Gone out of our lives forever... why couldn't it have been us?" Leif cried.

The Louds began crying their hearts out, while the non-Louds just hung there awkwardly.

"Hey, guys!" a voice called out.

They looked down and saw Leif. Only his head was seen.

"Dad!" Leif, Lina, and Lenore cried.

"Have you guys met my thousandth paycheck?" Skippy asked.

He showed his paycheck to them.

"Wow. How'd you get it back?" Linka asked.

"It wasn't easy. Ol' Sharkbite is quite the fighter, so eventually, we settled on a trade." Skippy replied.

"What did you give him?" Lacy asked.

Skippy jumped onto the plank, revealing that he was only in his underwear.

"Nothing important." Skippy replied.

He laughed, though the rest of the group was left surprised.

* * *

Later, the group was sailing home. Skippy had on some spare fisherman clothes as he sailed the ship. His wife, three children, and the others were on top of the ship with him.

"Hey, listen, guys. I want to apologize for what I did to all of you. I can't believe I put you danger just to get this stupid paycheck." Skippy said softly.

"It's okay, Dad." Lenore said.

"We're glad you weren't going to let that shark eat us, though." Lina said.

"And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten to see a shark up that close." Leif stated.

"Yeah, that was awesome! I can't wait to tell my friends my uncle jumped in a shark's mouth." Lacy said,

"I guess this fishing trip wasn't so bad after all." Londey admitted.

"And were just glad you're okay, Skip." Lana said.

The blonde hugged him. The others joined in as well.


End file.
